|
Best Selling Wedding Invitations
Wedding invitations are your guest’s first introduction to your big day and the first opportunity you’ll get to convey to them the tone of your event. Invitations should reflect the style of the bride and groom as well as provide all the necessary information your guests will need to attend. Deciding on what is proper etiquette versus what is right for each bride and groom can be a difficult task. Here we’ll discuss both traditional etiquette as well as common practices of today’s bride and groom.
What is Included in Wedding Stationery?
When to Begin Shopping for Invitations
Choosing an Invitation Style
Suggested Invitation Wording
Additional Invitation Enclosures
Envelope Addressing
Preparing the Invitations for Mailing
Mailing Wedding Invitations
What is Included in Wedding Stationery?
There are many parts to today’s wedding stationery. It’s very common for couples today to start by sending a Save the Date. A Save the Date is usually used as a way for a couple to give advanced notice, that is ahead of the six to eight weeks that invitations are mailed, to their guests of their upcoming wedding. A Save the Date is often sent six to eight months in advance of the wedding date. They are often used for destination weddings so that guests have plenty of time to plan for travel. The Save the Date will often include any travel or accommodations information that the bride and groom recommend or have arranged for their guests. They are also commonly used for weddings that will take place on a holiday or during the busy summer months. These days many couples are sending out a Save the Date just because they would like to, because they’re excited about their event and want to make sure their guests know about it as soon as possible. I was married in March and decided that it’s not a busy time of year so a Save the Date would not be necessary, we still had a 90% of our invited guests attend.
The next piece of stationery that’s sent is usually the wedding invitation. Wedding invitations should be sent six to eight weeks in advance of the wedding date. I’ve also found it quite common that couples having a destination wedding will send out their invitations as far in advance as ten weeks. That is because often they will have additional travel or accommodations info that they want to share with their guests that may not have been available at the time the Save the Date was sent out. What is included in the wedding invitation varies greatly. At a minimum the invitation usually includes the invite itself with date, time, and location information, as well as a response card so that guests may let you know whether or not they will be attending. Traditionally guest responses were handwritten so the invite may have included a small blank piece of heavy weight paper that the guest was expected to hand write a response on and then return to the wedding host. Most couples today have pre-printed response cards that allow the guest to enter the names of all respondents (that’s what should be written after the M with the line next to it, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith or Ms. Jane Smith or Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, Suzy Smith, James Smith) as well as a spot to check off whether they will be attending or not attending. Although traditional etiquette advises against it many couples are now including a line that requests “number attending.” That is because many people are not familiar with the proper way to fill out a response card meaning they don’t know that all names of the guests that will be attending should be written in. This can cause confusion for the bride and groom and they may not be able to properly plan for the number of guests that will actually be attending. Several additional inserts may also be included with the invitation. If your reception is being held at a location separate from your ceremony you should include a reception card. The reception card should include the name and location of the reception venue and often will include driving directions from the ceremony location to the reception location. Some couples include an accommodations insert with their invitation. The accommodations insert will usually include hotel accommodations recommended by the bride and groom and often include information on a special rate they have secured for their guests. A map or directions insert is also common. Often the bride and groom will provide directions to the ceremony and reception location and any special parking arrangements they may have made. A less common insertion includes information regarding any special events the bride and groom have arranged for their guests like golf tournaments, cocktail parties, or picnics.
After the wedding invitation is sent the next pieces of wedding stationery are usually for use at the ceremony and reception. A very common piece of ceremony wedding stationery is a program. Programs often list participants in the wedding such as bridal party members, candle lighters, or perhaps someone who will be singing a song during the ceremony. They also often include the order in which the ceremony will proceed. This is quite helpful if you’ll be having a religious ceremony that perhaps not all of your guests are familiar with, if you’re having a ceremony that combines two or more religions, or if you’re having a non-traditional ceremony and want to share that with your guests. Couples will also often include a note of thanks to their parents or friends and family who have been involved in the wedding planning and execution. It’s also common for the couple to include a poem or religious scripture that they have chosen or someone may have written for them.
The type of reception you are having will determine what items of wedding stationery you may need. If you are serving food at your reception and it is done buffet style you will usually not have assigned seating so place cards aren’t necessary, however you may want to have some “reserved” signs made for seating that will be saved for the bridal party or family members. If you are having a seated food service you will usually need to have escort cards and/or place cards. Escort cards are usually placed somewhere at the entrance to the reception and are used to direct guests to their seat. For instance they could have the guest’s name “Mr. John Smith” and also say “You are seated at table 4.” Some couples choose to also have a place card so that once Mr. Smith gets to table 4 he knows which seat he should be sitting in. Often times if you are doing a seated dinner that requires the guest to choose an entrè£ ahead of time the venue will require that you have some sort of signal so that the waiter knows what that guest us eating. Color coded place cards are a great way to accomplish this. Many couples will also have menus made and placed on the table so guests know what will be served. A color coded personalized menu could also take the place of a separate place card. Combining the place card and menu is a great way to conserve space on the table. Another idea if you’re having guest favors is to use the favor as a place card by incorporating the guest’s name on the packaging. One last item you’ll need if you’re assigning guest seating and that is table numbers to indicate which table is which. Don’t be afraid to get creative with table numbers, instead of using numbers you could give each table the name of a city you have visited together or plan to visit together in the future. You could also use names of your favorite songs or movies. Guests always seem to enjoy the added personal touch. I designed table numbers for a couple that used the names of cities they had visited together and also included a photo of them together in that city.
After the wedding the final piece of stationery is usually the thank you card. Thank you cards vary in design and cost. Many couples choose pre-printed cards from a local store or online. Becoming more common is for couples to have them designed to incorporate a wedding photo or the couple’s new monogram. I really think guests enjoy receiving a card with a wedding photo and they often hang it on the refrigerator or set it out for display.
There’s one more fairly common wedding stationery item and that is the announcement. Announcements are usually sent when the ceremony was kept small. This often happens in the case of destination weddings. Announcements are usually sent to those who may wish to know about the nuptials but were not invited to the ceremony and they are not usually sent to a guest that received an invitation even if the guest did not attend. An announcement does not obligate the receiver to send a gift. They should be sent the day after the wedding but may be mailed up to several months later.
When to Begin Shopping for Invitations
For couples who have the luxury of time invitation shopping should begin about four months prior to your wedding date. This assumes one month for shopping around, one month for the invitations to be produced once ordered, and two to four weeks for addressing envelopes with the invites being mailed six to eight weeks in advance of the wedding date.
Choosing an Invitation Style
Before deciding on an invitation style couples should ask themselves several questions.
1. How many invitations will we need?
Be sure to plan for extra in case there are any additions to your list. Also you’ll want to be sure you have an extra invitation or two that are in good condition to use for keepsakes.
2. What is our budget for invitations?
The budget question is one of the most important. Invitations can range anywhere from $1.00 per set to $30.00 or more per set for custom designed invitations. While shopping for invitations be sure to carefully read what is included in the price. Often times the price displayed is for the invitation only and may not even include the envelope. It is also common for the invitation and envelope to be sold for one price and then any additional pieces, such as a response card, or services like return address printing are extra. Always included in the price at InviteDesigner.com is the invitation, outer envelope with return address printed, response card, response card envelope with return address printed, tissue paper insert, and five extra envelopes.
3. How much time do we have? If you have the luxury of three to four months the sky is the limit when it comes to invitations. Custom designed invitations could be an option for you. If you have less than three months it may be best to stick with invitations that have already been designed like those you’d find online or at a stationery store.
4. Will the wedding be modern or traditional? A good indicator for what style of invites you should be looking at. Please see “Modern” and “Traditional” below for more on this subject.
5. What time of year is the wedding and is there a theme we want to convey?
Another good indicator for what style of invites you should be looking at. For example many couples choosing to marry in December will incorporate red into their color scheme and invitations. Another example would be a couple that has chosen a beach theme and therefore wants to incorporate some sort of beach motif like a palm tree in to their wedding stationery.
Traditional
Traditional wedding invitations are a formal affair with limited choices. Traditional papers would be white, ecru, or ivory in the heaviest-weight paper. They would be printed in black with a roman typeface and no embellishments. The invitation would be placed in an inner envelope along with tissue and a response card. Sometimes a reception card is also included. The inner envelope is addressed with the invited guest’s names; no address is used on the inner envelope. The inner envelope is then placed inside of the outer envelope. The outer envelope is addressed with the invited guest’s names as well as the guest’s address. One of the most common questions we get is what’s the purpose of the inner envelope? This tradition started years ago when inner envelopes were used because outer envelopes would show up dirty and much worse for the wear. But we think since most people no longer rely on the Pony Express it is safe to do away with the inner envelope and feel secure in the fact that most mail these days arrives clean and not much worse for the wear.
Modern
Thank goodness for the modern wedding invitation! There are so many colors and styles available that every bride and groom should be able to find something they feel reflects their personal style. Some popular current choices include square invitations rather than rectangular, invitations larger than the usual 5” x 7”, colored outer envelopes, and invitations that include a couple’s monogram, motif or ribbon. A note on the couple’s monogram, the couple’s monogram is created using the first letter of the bride’s first name then the first letter of the groom’s last name and lastly the first letter of the groom’s first name. For example the couple’s monogram for Elizabeth Thompson and John Smith would be ESJ. Etiquette often states that this monogram should not be used until the bride and groom are married. However many couples are using this monogram on wedding stationery of all types including the invitation. If you’re not comfortable with using this monogram before the ceremony you can have a monogram designed that includes just the bride and groom’s first initials or the bride and groom’s first names and the wedding date or any number of other combinations.
Suggested Invitation Wording
Bride’s Parents Hosting:
Mr. and Mrs. John Dougherty
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Caroline Elizabeth
to
Mr. Steven Michael Hill
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand and seven
at six o’clock in the evening
Lake Union Caf纯p>
Seattle, Washington
Reception following the ceremony
* “request the pleasure of your company” is used for civil ceremonies and “request the honor of your presence” is used for religious ceremonies*
Couple Hosting:
Caroline Elizabeth Dougherty
and
Steven Michael Hill
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand and seven
at six o’clock in the evening
St. James Cathedral
Seattle, Washington
and afterward at the reception
Lake Union Caf纯p>
3119 Eastlake Avenue East
Seattle, Washington
* “request the pleasure of your company” is used for civil ceremonies and “request the honor of your presence” is used for religious ceremonies*
Couple and Family Hosting:
Together with their families
Caroline Dougherty
and
Steven Hill
invite you to celebrate their marriage
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand and seven
at six o’clock in the evening
Lake Union Caf纯p>
Seattle, Washington
Reception following the ceremony
Both Sets of Parents Hosting:
Mr. and Mrs. John Dougherty
and
Mr. and Mrs. George Hill
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Caroline Dougherty
and
Steven Hill
Saturday, the fifth of June
two thousand and seven
at six o’clock in the evening
St. James Cathedral
Seattle, Washington
and afterward at the reception
Lake Union Caf纯p>
3119 Eastlake Avenue East
Seattle, Washington
* “request the pleasure of your company” is used for civil ceremonies and “request the honor of your presence” is used for religious ceremonies*
Additional Invitation Enclosures
Response Card (RSVP)
Along with the actual invitation you should include a response card (RSVP) along with a stamped response card envelope. This is how your guests will let you know whether or not they’re coming and if they are coming exactly who is coming with them. There is often confusion when it comes to filling out the response card. The guest should start by writing all the names of the guests that will be attending on the line that starts with “M.” For example that line would read “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith or Ms. Jane Smith for a single person, if children are included it would read Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, Suzy Smith, James Smith.” See our 10 Tips and Tricks for Wedding Invitations for a great response card tip.
Reception Card
If your reception is being held at a location separate from your ceremony you should include a reception card. The reception card should include the name and location of the reception venue and often will include driving directions from the ceremony location to the reception location.
Accommodations Insert
Some couples include an accommodations insert with their invitation. The accommodations insert will usually include hotel accommodations recommended by the bride and groom and often include information on a special rate they have secured for their guests.
Map/Directions
A map or directions insert is also common. Often the bride and groom will provide directions to the ceremony and reception location and any special parking arrangements they may have made.
Additional Events
Many couples now choose to have a “wedding weekend.” Often times guests are coming from far away and the couple plans additional events so that they can spend time with their guests and so that guests can get to know other guests. Picnics, barbecues, cocktail parties, and golf tournaments are just an example of additional events the couple may have planned. Sometimes they will include this information in with the wedding invitation but I usually recommend against that. There is a fine line between the right amount of information and too much information all at once. If you aren’t already including several additional inserts with your invitation than a small insert with additional events information would probably be o.k. But if you’ve already got several other inserts included with your invitation I recommend sending the details of additional events separately. You may even want to wait until guests have responded that they will be attending and then send them the additional events information. Too much information at one time can be confusing for guests.
Envelope Addressing
The thought of addressing all those invitations by hand can be quite daunting but add to that all the etiquette for addressing and it can seem like too much to handle. If you absolutely can’t face addressing the invitations yourself then it would be a great idea to enlist the help of your family, bridal party or hire it out to a calligrapher. It is also now not uncommon to have your addresses printed in a script font matching your invitations
Now that we have that out of the way let’s talk about address formats. For wedding invitations it is traditional to write out all abbreviations, for instance St. should be written Street, Ave. should be Avenue, etc. The one abbreviation I usually give on is the state because the post office would actually prefer you use the state abbreviation and you do not want to anger the post office while they are handling your wedding invitations. However I do agree it looks better to write out the state name so I leave that decision up to you. For the return address it is usually printed on the back flap and traditionally does not include a name just an address.
Addressing Envelopes
These tips are specifically for those couples who have chosen not to use an inner and outer envelope but rather just an outer envelope
- An invitation to a married couple should be addressed to both persons. You could use Mr. and Mrs. John Smith or Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith. Or you may use John and Jane Smith if you prefer something a little less formal.
- An invitation to an unmarried person should be addressed Ms. Jane Smith or Mr. John Smith. The tricky question is always “can you use Ms. Jane Smith and Guest?” My personal thought on this is yes, it is perfectly o.k. to use Ms. Jane Smith and Guest so that Jane knows she may bring a guest with her. However if the invite is addressed to just Ms. Jane Smith then that would indicate to Jane that she is not supposed to bring a guest, that the invitation is just for her.
- An invitation to a family with children under the age of 18. The envelope should be addressed with Mr. and Mrs. John Smith on the first line and then on the second line you would write the names of the children James and Jennifer which indicates that they are also invited. That is what traditional etiquette suggests however I’m from the school of thought that Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family is also perfectly acceptable.
- An invitation to a family with children over the age of 18 living at home. Traditional etiquette suggests that children over the age of 18 be sent their own invitation.
- An invitation to an unmarried couple that live together. This invitation should be addressed with each persons name appearing on a separate line, so the first line would read Mr. Michael Smith and the second line would read Ms. Suzy Thompson.
Preparing the Invitations for Mailing
First of all we recommend that once you have your completed invitations you should handle them as little as possible so that they remain in as pristine condition as possible. When you have all of your envelopes addressed and are ready to begin stuffing here is the order in which everything should be placed (this is for invitations that do not include an inner envelope); first in the envelope should be the invitation and it should be placed face up to the back flap of the envelope facing so that the guest can read the writing as the pull it out. The response card is usually placed under the flap of the response envelope with the writing facing up and any additional inserts are placed under the response card. If you have a folded invitation the response card and any additional inserts are placed in the same order inside the folded invite.
Mailing Wedding Invitations
The first thing to be sure to do when you have your completed wedding invitations is to take one to the post office and have them weigh it. It’s important that you know that before you purchase postage. If requested many post offices will hand cancel your invitations which will save them from some of the postal markings.
|
