Keeping The Peace: Planning Your Wedding With The Moms
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
It is so funny how quickly YOUR wedding becomes your parents wedding the moment the diamond is on your finger and it’s time to start planning! You think you’re doing a wonderful thing by including your mother and his mother in the planning, besides, you appreciate having a second and third opinion and being able to bond with them and have them bond with each other, but it’s not long before you start to wonder, ‘whose wedding is this again??’
It really can snowball quickly if you’re not careful and then , before you know it, you find yourself trapped under a blanket of guilt—the type that only a mom is capable of weaving—and your wedding is becoming a reflection of everyone’s taste but yours! You need to learn how to tactfully nip this in the bud… more like butts and take control over the situation without hurting anyone’s feelings and long before your dream wedding becomes their dream wedding; complete with fluffy cupcake-style dresses and downright scary floral arrangements that look as if they belong around the neck of the winning horse at the Kentucky Derby!
- Remember that no matter how demanding/controlling/fussy/downright bitchy moms can be; they always believe that they are doing what’s best for you. A little patience may be hard, but try to cut them a little slack before flying off the handle and contemplating eloping.
- Make a list of the things that you are CERTAIN about in regard to the wedding, like the dress that you’ve been imagining your entire life, the bridal party dresses that your best friends have already said ‘I do’ to, etc. These items should stay off limits even if it means going and buying them before you tell the moms about them.
- Be willing to at least consider one thing that each mother feels strongly about as long as it is NOT on your list. Certain traditions mean a lot to parents when it comes to their children’s wedding. Find ways to incorporate them with your own spin.
- To avoid the guilt-trip that may follow when the mom’s find out that you have already chosen something without them and their precious opinion; have your heartfelt excuse ready! ‘I really wanted to do this with you guys but I just happened to come across it and loved it sooooooo much. Plus it was such a good deal.’ That’s usually enough to keep things pretty.
- Talk to them about your ideas BEFORE you walk into any bridal shop or start visiting an wedding sites ready to shop. This way they may feel a little bit of guilt in trying to sway you from the invitations, favors or anything else that you have your heart set on.
You may want to please everyone—especially those who may be footing the bill, but when it all comes down to it; this is your wedding and the kick off to your life with the man you love. How you choose to start this chapter in your life ultimately is your choice. Be patient, have fun and try to have a thick skin and you should be fine. If all else fails: blame him!
